The corner of Smith & Wesson in Goth Haven. The corner is taped off with the yellow plastic Police Do Not cross tape. A murder has been committed. A woman is dead. It's the third one this month that have died in that manner. But, the Killer did something wrong this time: He was seen. The ATM across street has a Camera. It captured it all: Him walking up behind her, Him beating her senseless with appears to be an Accordion. After the Murder, He stands over his kill smiling. He looks around, for a split second he looks directly into the Camera. He then run off with his bloody Accordion.
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It's the next morning, in Parrodipolis: a man wearing red & yellow pajamas walks from his bedroom to the kitchen. This man's name is Ronald Arnold Gerrimoto Beeslyhuxtoy, most people just call him Ronnie. He was up early. He doesn't know why he got up at 9:30 am, but he was. Ronnie put a Hot Pocket (Cheese & Broccoli, his favorite) into the Microwave, pressed a few buttons & the hot pocket started to cook. As it did, Ronnie starred at the rotating food product. After 30 seconds: he started to see images in the hot pocket.
"Celine?" Ronnie said. Yes, Ronnie could see the head the of french-canadian singer on the crust of his hot pocket.
The microwave went ding & his concentration was broken. Ronnie opened the microwave. He picked it up but just before he bit into his breakfast, he turned on the TV: a music video for one of his favorite songs came on, it was a Hillary Duff song (this was from before Hillary Duff started to look all weird). Ronnie began to sing along:
You can change your coats - if you want too
You'll change because of your kind
Well, that's the way it goes
But I'm gonna keep your beans
And your old black cat - cause I want too
They look good with me
You're never gonna get them back
At least not today, maybe not tomorrow 'cause...
When Ronnie started to do the chorus, he really started to belt it out:
If it's over, it's over
So, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem that
It's was so yesterday, that's all I got to say
As he went into the next line, he bit into the Hot Pocket.
I'm just a bard who's already gone to play
GGGGGAAAAHHHH!
The cheese was hot. The screaming of Ronnie woke up his roommate, Chadwick L. Swiss, most people just call him Chad. He hit his head on the closet door & yelled a bit. Ronnie spit of the piece of offending Hot Pocket, took a long drink of water from the faucet. Then, went over to the Living Room closet. Ronnie opened the door & Chad was hanging upside down in it. He was rubbing his head.
"I'm sorry." Ronnie said. "Really hot Hot Pocket."
The look on Chad's face told him that he was forgiven. Ronnie walked away as Chad got down from the closet. Ronnie sat down on the couch to watch some TV. He began flip through the channels. As he flips he sees clips from a rerun of "Desperate Housecats", the '80's Lesbian flick "When Sherrie met Sally", a Dr. Phil episode., an episode of Jeopardy.
"I'll take Stuff Nobody Knows for a million, Alex!" said the contestant. Ronnie flips the channel before Alex reads the answer.
Ronnie flips over to VH1:
"Alright, Barton! You know you goal weight gain for next week is three pounds. Now your going to eat this sandwich or am I going to have to force it down your emaciated gullet?"
"But, Harvey!" The Teen Actress pleaded with the tall, bald Black man.
"I can see your bones through your skin, little lady. Your going to eat this Sandwich!"
Another participant of Celebrity Fat Club began to giggle. He heard it.
"Oh, you think that's funny Richie? I don't see you eating that box of Doughnuts now do I? We helped your friend Miss Lohan to start eating correctly, now she only looks skinny & not freakishly skinny."
Ronnie flipped the channel. He flipped past an episode of the Frogman cartoon & on to an episode of the cartoon Phil Spector: Moon Knight!
"Khonshu help me make this punk feel my Wall of Sound!" yelled the main character.
Ronnie flipped on. He stopped on a show that drew in his attention more then anything else, it was a show on Vampire legends from around the world. He put down the controller. Just around the time the show was finished with a piece on Dracula, the doorbell rang. Ronnie didn't move. The world had faded away. All that mattered was him & his show.
The Doorbell rang again. Ronnie didn't move again.
It rang again, Chad got up from practicing his Accordion. With the instrument still around his neck, he went to the door. He opened it & standing in the hallway were two Detectives.
"Are you Mr. Chadwick L. Swiss?" the one the right asked.
Chad nodded his head yes.
The one of the right told out a set of handcuffs as the other read Chad his rights. The first one also told him that Chad was a prime suspect in the murder of three women. The two detectives lead Chad & his Accordion away, as they did that one closed the door behind them. As the door closed, Chad looked back to see Ronnie just sitting there on the couch, doing nothing but watching TV.
A few minutes after that, Ronnie said "Chad, I think there is someone at the door. Could you get that?"
TO BE CONTINUED....
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